In the winner is . . .

I believe that in Charles M. Blow’s " Library Visit, Then Held at Gunpoint" is more successful in delivering his thesis statement because he shows a situation that occurred at his sons’ school that put us in what's going to happen next. It goes in greater detail about what's going on, not for too long but to give us background information. Now some of the reasons why Blow's was more successfully in delivering his thesis statement than David Brooks is how he explained it. In paragraph 6 through 9 it put the reader in his son shoes what exactly is going on. "I did not pay him any mind, and continued to walk back towards my room. I looked behind me, and noticed that the police officer was following me. He spoke into his shoulder- mounted radio and said, i got him;”  There's more, up until we get in paragraph 9. It shows the Fear that his son is going through " at this point, I stopped looking directly at the officer, and look down towards the pavement. I dropped to my knees first. With my hands raised, then down on my stomach.” The reader can put themselves in a situation as if this is something that they could easily experience themselves. Paragraph 22 put up a rhetorical question for the reader to analyze being that “why was that the first option?” Too draw a gun first! At this point the reader engaged in what he's talking about and this seems very serious I felt that this was more satisfying putting the reader in a problem that could happen to anyone. The way he deliver his statement was perfect in trying to make the reader feel that this is a problem that needs to be changed. This actually shows personal experience and great detail, I believe Charles M. Blow " Library Visit, Then Held at Gunpoint" was more successful in delivering his thesis statement.


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